A hunter gets bitten by a vampire and runs into a shed to avoid sunlight. Stan, a 17-year-old on probation, and his supervisor grandpa live next to it. Stan’s bullied high school buddy can use a monster.
Sigh. It feels like the death of the horror genre is nearly upon us, yet again. Every few years, a film comes along that seems to redefine the horror genre and gets fans pumped but then we have to live in its aftermath with a flurry of generic, characterless, and unscary carbon copies until the next great horror movie materializes. As an indie filmmaker, I get what the producers of “The Shed” were going for. With an indisputable limited budget, they tried to contain most of the film’s action to one central location, the titular shed and while the production quality overall is impressive and the camerawork and lighting are notable, the acting leaves a lot to be desired. Unfortunately, no matter how good your movie looks, if the acting is not up to the same par, the film will suffer, even with such well-known names as Frank Whaley, Timothy Bottoms, and Siobhan Fallon Hogan.
Stan (Jay Jay Warren) lives with his abusive grandfather Ellis (Timothy Bottoms) after his mother died of cancer and his father took his own life. He hangs out with his best and only friend Dommer (Cody Kostro) and the two are constantly tormented by the school bully Marble (Chris Petrovski) and his gang. When a local hunter mysteriously disappears, Stan’s dog begins barking at the shed at the back of his house. When the dog is ripped apart after making its way inside, Stan, after the initial shock wears off, tries to lock the shed and is attacked by the creature, a vampire that dwells in its shadows but successfully manages to escape its clutches, sealing it within the shed. After Dommer finds out about the creature, he decides to taunt the school bullies into making their way over to the shed with the intent of luring them inside but things don’t go according to plan.
As I mentioned earlier, the quality and look of “The Shed” is striking but its cast feels like they were plucked out of oblivion, with no acting experience whatsoever and then placed in front of the camera. Their emotions, or lack thereof, range from deemphasizing important dialogue to overstating insignificant jargon and overacting whenever something scary happens. Frank Whaley, Timothy Bottoms, and Siobhan Fallon Hogan all appear in glorified cameos and even their appearances cannot save “The Shed.” There is absolutely nothing scary about this movie, in the beginning, when Frank Whaley is first attacked by the lead vampire, it closely resembles the look and appearance of Nosferatu but it quickly disintegrates in the rays of the rising sun, leaving Frank’s character to desperately seek cover in the shed. After this, the characters who succumb to the vampire, appear as nothing more than actors utilizing cheesy contact lenses and fake vampire fangs. If you want a genuinely frightening vampire film, check out Tobe Hooper’s far-superior “Salem’s Lot,” released in 1979, it is still scarier than most of the rubbish released today, including the forgettable 2004 remake starring Rob Lowe.
Available on Blu-ray and DVD January 7th
