[yasr_overall_rating]
Vampires have just made themselves public! Now a group of documentarians have been granted access to spend some time with them and learn how they live and coexist with humans. But as reality sets in, the crew realize they are in for far more than they bargained for.
First off I want to applaud the filmmakers for finishing their movie. No! Really! It’s true that so few films get made and finished in the first place and that fact needs to be lauded. That being said…. This movie is a hot mess. I want to give the benefit of the doubt here, but there are several cues throughout the film that convince me the person who made this movie watched a lot of movies and just decided to make their own. Allow me to elaborate…
The film follows a documentary crew interviewing a family of vampires after society realizes they exist. Naturally, there are all the questions of ‘How Vampires Work’ and ‘Do they Hunt People’ and all those little details that populate our curiosity. Unfortunately, the movie spends literally two-thirds of its time answering the mundane questions (three or four times) of vampirism at the neglect of these characters. The script feels like a first draft student film. It feels like there were very little edits in the writing process. Our protagonist ‘Asshole Documentary Filmmaker’ flip-flops frequently between ‘asshole’ and ‘dedicated journalist.’ I wish I’d gotten more ‘journalist’ and less ‘asshole’ because one feels more motivated than the other.
The concept is it’s a found footage film, but people who watch those movies fail to understand the work that goes into those scenes. One of the main reasons I don’t think the filmmaker has a strong background in actually shooting movies is the interview scenes. The movie revolves around this setup where our protagonist interviews a vampire (haha! Get it?) except the interviews are poorly lit. Any basic film student would grasp the concept of three-point lighting and any journalist would light their interviews so we can see everyone’s faces. I also want to mention the film goes to great pains to set up all these different kinds of cameras AND THEN RARELY EVER USES THEM! We have cameras all around the house, cameras on people’s clothes, and a handheld camera. All we get is this ‘one long handheld’ shot. I’m sorry guys, but to use those instruments so sparsely when you took so much time to set it up? Wasteful.
The editing of the film feels absolutely wonky. The trick with found footage films is: how do you cut to the next scene? Often, films use straight cuts, or interspersed footage (cue “Paranormal Activity” or “Cloverfield”) but this just has some glitch effect. I understand it’s usage in a few scenes, but this being the sole cut in the entire film just feels lazy. I wished for so much more.
Before I go any further, I want to compliment the lead vampire actors. They’re clearly having fun or making the best of the dialogue given to them. Often times the antagonist felt much more interesting to me than the protagonists. I also want to shout out the basement scene. Somebody worked really hard to stack those bodies, spill that blood, and make a single warehouse-sized aisle of dead bodies. Good work guys.
The effects are cheaply done (and not in a fun way). The camera work is poorly wrought. The lighting is practically non-existent (that goes beyond the aesthetic choices made.) The dialogue was cringe-y. The plot revolved around overexplaining everything and creeping Deus Ex Machinas. Also, what was with that scene with the topless woman in her underwear? I get the ‘horror’ of it all but it just felt like a poor excuse to have nudity in the movie. Overall the whole thing felt like a student film with zero censorship or budget. The budget thing I can forgive, but forgetting basic three-point lighting? I’m sorry, but I can light a scene better than that.
I’m going to offer the Tommy Wiseau way out: if the intention was to make a bad movie, then you succeeded. By a mile. This movie fails along the lines of “Birdemic” or “The Room” (although both were made with bigger budgets) so, who knows? Maybe we have another honorary of trash cinema on our hands. Regardless, I’m not going to recommend this. Not even for free. Please don’t watch this.
In theaters February 2nd
