[yasr_overall_rating]
A retired hitman must reawaken all his deadly skills, and fight a one-man war against his former employer.
When a quick IMDb search – followed by more than five minutes of intense Google searching – did not reveal the spelling of Danny Trejo’s character’s name in “Silencer,” the new film from young C-list helmer Timothy Woodward Jr., I gave up trying. I was not going to dedicate more precious time to try to solve this minor puzzle. “Silencer” had already stolen over 80 minutes that I’ll never get back. So let’s just call Trejo’s character Len, for I believe his wife refers to him as “Leonard” at one point in the film, which has little-to-no reason to exist.
Frank (Johnny Messner) goes all commando when one of his partners gets killed somewhere in the Middle East (I may have missed a location credit, it’s probably Iraq). All pent up on rage, Frank kills innocent citizens, including children. Which instantly establishes him as quite irredeemable (and don’t give me that “war makes monsters of us all” bullshit, this isn’t “Platoon”).
Frank, a gun for hire years later, does little to win our sympathy for the character. Speaking in a low Batman-like growl, Messner adds next-to-no gravitas to a fairly – scratch that, EXTREMELY – straightforward role. In one instance, Frank’s wife Cass (Nikki Leigh, terribly underused, which is great, because she’s terrible in the film) asks him, “You’re happy, right?” “You know I am,” he replies while looking like he just stomped on a bag of kittens and then shot his own grandma.
Right after his ponytail-sporting, cowboy-hat-wearing boss Len (Danny Trejo) lets him off the hook, Len’s daughter gets murdered. Despite having two ferocious-looking henchmen – the tatted-up Lazarus (Robert LaSardo) and the dumb-as-nails, racist, rhino-like Nels (MMA star – and clearly not a trained actor – Chuck Liddell) – Len hires Frank to find her killer. “I wanna dance at his funeral and piss on his grave,” snarls Trejo, evoking a rather amusing image.
Faced with quite a flimsy threat from Len, it doesn’t take long for Frank to succumb, but… drumroll… on ONE condition… “This is my last job,” he snarls, the offspring of Bruce Wayne and Clint Eastwood that he is. However, upon seeing the target with his family, horrid Middle-Eastern flashbacks prevent Frank from completing the mission. Now Len’s goons are after him.
In the meantime, Cass reads bedtime stories to her daughter. “Can you read me another story, momma?” the kid asks. “Not tonight, sweetheart,” Cass replies, her thoughts on her husband, whose desperate phone calls she is actively missing. (Why does she keep her phone on ‘vibrate’ during those tumultuous times? Why doesn’t he try the motel they’re staying at? Or a police station? Why am I asking those questions?) I don’t want to reveal any major spoilers in this twisty, white-knuckle ride, but let’s just say that Frank soon has even more of a reason to go apeshit – and no, sarcasm never got me very far.
One hilarious barfight later, Frank goes on a rampage of revenge in Mexico, along with his friend, the bulky oaf Timothy (MMA fighter Tito Ortiz, who, like Lidell, needs to spend some of that fighting money on acting lessons). “Hey, do you think God will forgive us for this?” Frank asks Timothy at one point. If he’s referring to this film, the answer’s a definitive “no”.
“Silencer” starts off fast-paced in its first few minutes, then curiously takes a while to get going; it’s not until we’re way into the third act of the film that the action – which is middling and poorly edited at best – truly kicks in. And isn’t that the reason to watch this kind of flick – the action? It’s certainly not the award-worthy acting or the existential ruminations. It so methodically hits every predictable note, it’s almost commendable – it’s like Woodward Jr. has seen every revenge flick out there and attempted to replicate them all, beat by beat. You name a cliché, it’s here: wartime flashbacks, resentful wife and a nauseatingly “cute” daughter, the “one last job” chestnut, a montage of our protagonist falling off the wagon – the list goes on and on.
Even Trejo seems bored. The actor appears relatively briefly, cashes his paycheck – and leaves. “She’s got some beautiful titties,” Trejo says, eyes on that very paycheck, about halfway through this classic. “I ain’t never seen them. I just know they’re there.” (“I’m gonna fuck your babies” may be the only line in the film that tops that one. Oh, no, wait, it may be: “Trust is like the silence of the night, Frank – once you lose it, you can’t get it back”).
Unoriginal, cr.udely made and poorly acted, “Silencer” is the mentally-challenged grand-kid of films like “Con Air”, “American Sniper” and “Shooter.” No one will rent this looking for deep meaning or any sort of subtext – true. But that’s what makes the lack of gritty, fun action sequences or laughs that much more disappointing. A surprisingly muffled C-flick, “Silencer” will leave you speechless for all the wrong reasons.
In theaters September 4th
