[yasr_overall_rating]
An orphaned waiter is forced to carry out dangerous missions for a powerful secret society in exchange for the truth about his past.
Some things are better left unsaid. And if you can’t say something nice, best not to say anything at all. Okay, so if you think those are clichés, just wait until you see “Mike Boy.”
“If I was here to hurt you, you’d be dead by now.”
It’s not what I want, it’s what you want.”
“They call me Mr. Tibbs.” No, wait, “They call me Agent Chris.” Whatever. You get the idea.
“Have a seat,” even though Mike is already sitting down. Okay, I’ll stop.
“Mike Boy” is a movie that doesn’t seem to know if it wants to be funny, cynical, serious or sarcastic. I didn’t either. There are moments early on when it appears the comic relief may save the day, but alas, that’s not to be. For example, just when you think you’re about to see a great over-the-top performance by Nick Afka Thomas as a gay antique dealer, the scene jumps schizophrenically from funny to serious to just plain depressing.
Another problem is the pacing – in a word – turgid. If you’re going to pound the audience with clichés and inscrutable plotlines, at least keep things moving fast enough so that it’s harder to notice. So many bad lines and yet so little time:
“Just do it.”
“Let’s talk in my office.”
To be fair, the plotline about two mysterious warring groups provides the ostensible impetus for going forward on Mike’s journey of discovery for the truth about his past. But it was hard to care about the orphaned waiter, and if there was something deeper to “get,” I didn’t.
At a runtime of just under ninety minutes, Einstein’s principles of time dilation feel like they’ve fully kicked in. You could leave the theatre thinking a month or more has gone by. My recommendation about “Mike Boy” is that if you’re alone on a cold winter night, with no football games on to watch or anything else to do and don’t need that hour-and-a-half you’ll never get back, then, by all means, go for it.
In theaters Friday, September 1st
Worst film ever.
Dialogue is a joke. Whoever wrote the script can’t write in English.
Acting is terrible. Feels like there was too many useless scenes.
Save your money and buy a book.