[yasr_overall_rating]
A group of beautiful Internet models are trapped inside their recording studio and hunted down by a mentally unstable fan they insulted live on the air. Now the girls must join together to escape and face their murderous stalker, or be picked off one by one. Beauty may only be skin deep, but revenge cuts to the bone.
Back when video stores were stationed on every corner, I was notorious for picking out some of the worst films ever (usually on purpose) to take home and hope that it was so atrociously bad that I’d laugh until I choked on a tonsil. Renting bad movies was always a guilty pleasure, and unfortunately with the advent of streaming services like Netflix the thrill has faded. There’s just something about walking into a video store, browsing through all the covers, no trailers seen, no reviews read, just taking a real stab in the dark and then picking up a real ‘gem’ like “Terror Toons,” which was wonderfully bad and was also one of the few that gave me nightmares. Doctor Carnage & Max are not to be trifled with. There’s a fine line between a ‘good’ bad movie and a ‘bad’ bad movie. I’m not sure what that line is, it’s probably intrinsically different for everyone, but if it’s a “horror” film and I’m not either laughing or bracing myself to scream or jump out of my skin, then something is wrong and it isn’t me. Such is the case for the ever-boring “Serial Kaller.”
The British slasher, “Serial Kaller,” focuses on a group of internet models that roll around on beds in lingerie and pretend to be hot for their callers. They are catty, crude, and petty and one day it all comes to a head when one of their callers over hears a couple of the girls insulting them and then girls start dropping like flies in a series of gory deaths.
Our opening kill is a dramatic stiletto heel to the eye of a girl tip-toeing in the dark of seemingly abandoned studio. There’s then a jump in time to 30 years earlier, and a scene of vanity and abuse between a child and mother. The mother, a fiery vixen, is obsessed with looking younger and will go to any lengths to achieve her goals while her son, who has a Norman Bates quality to him, is a thorn in her side and is emotionally abused and neglected ultimately driving him to violence. The mother dies from a surgery and the boy is taken away, in a savage fit, by doctors. With the flashback over, and some emotional background put in place, the murdering rampage can roll on and we can only hope there are gory deaths aplenty.
While there are eventually several kills, and you’re somewhat thankful for each one because that means one less person garbling about, the kills leave much to be desired. Basic and boring sums it up. The last 5 minutes of the film may be the best part, not just because it’s soon to be over, but an interesting, albeit jumbled, performance is given by the killer who looks like a cross between Robert Smith and Siouxsie Sioux. Motivations are muddied as this killer rambles on and on to their last victim, revealing some grotesque surgical handiwork and promising to “save” our final model.
The beginning, while not necessarily promising, doesn’t put you off entirely. There’s still a sense of “well this could get better…maybe.” But after 30-45 minutes of no real action and an excessive amount of mindless chattering and cattiness between the girls you know that you’ve signed on to lose a few brain cells. It’s like watching an episode of “The Real Housewives,” minus the glossy production, with a mystery killer thrown into the mix.
Available now on DVD
