[usr 0.5]
High school students check out a haunted house where in the 1800s, an ugly monster called “The Unnamable” was trapped in a vault.
Some movies are so bad they’re good and by that I mean they are so horrendously disastrous, they make for entertaining viewing. I am torn with “The Unnamable” because this film is so awful, so ridiculously atrocious, how it got made in the first place is beyond me. I grew up in the ’80s so I watched hundreds, if not thousands, of horror films throughout that decade and while some were genuinely well made and legitimately scary, others, such as “The Unnamable,” which has gone on to attain cult status (why I have no idea), proves that for every success, there is a major abomination, a monstrosity of a picture that manages to linger in our world when all copies of it should be collected and dissolved in sulphuric acid. When I critique a movie that is bad, I always try to find some redeeming quality because as an indie filmmaker myself, I know the hardships of producing independent pictures but in the case of “The Unnamable,” there was not one, I repeat, NOT ONE, redemptive aspect throughout its entire 87 minute runtime and what makes it even more unbelievable, is that four years after this film was made, it spawned a sequel, that’s right, “The Unnamable II: The Statement of Randolph Carter,” which starred John Rhys-Davies, Maria Ford, and David Warner (sigh).
A group of friends who live on campus at their university discover that an old abandoned house which sits at the very back of the property, is supposedly haunted. With most of them claiming that they don’t believe in the supernatural, they set out one evening to prove that the old ghost stories that have plagued the campus for over a hundred years are exactly that, just stories. Once they make their way inside the old house, however, they become trapped, unable to open the front door and since they are there, they decide to split up and inspect the building. In true horror film fashion, one by one, a creature so terrifying and frightening, massacres each of the students, until only a few are left to try and ascertain where it came from and how to stop it.
Everything about “The Unnamable” is laughable, the acting, the direction, the music, and I also noticed that throughout the entire film, there was a constant echo that became very irritating. When someone made some sort of noise, whether it was dropping an item, or slowly opening a creaking door, the initial sound would immediately trigger an echo of the exact same noise and this continued up until the closing credits. In order to make a believable film, especially in the horror genre, you must have certain levels of authenticity. I’ve watched plenty of horror movies over the years that had great atmosphere but the acting wasn’t very good, or vice versa, so there is actually quite a lot of wiggle room. You may not have the world’s greatest thespians but at least add some creepy elements, interesting camerawork, a menacing soundtrack, a chilling screenplay, that way, if at least one of these elements, or more, work to your advantage, you will more than likely have a successful horror movie on your hands.
An often overlooked element of a movie by indie filmmakers, is its score, just listen to John Williams’ “Jaws,” Jerry Goldsmith’s “The Omen,” or Ennio Morricone’s “The Thing” for proof that these components helped elevate said movies to even scarier heights. With “The Unnamable,” composer David Bergeaud, who since then, has gone on to score many movies, was just starting out in the business and this was only his second soundtrack but I wouldn’t even call it that. It sounded like Mr. Bergeaud was handed a child’s synthesizer and just played random keys in the hopes that something would stick. Obviously, it didn’t and being perfectly honest, the movie might have worked better with no score at all, but that would be in a perfect world. With stilted acting, tedious camerawork, and laughable special effects, it’s a miracle that this film saw the light of day. And what’s even more amazing, is that it is now getting the royal treatment and being released on Blu-ray for the very first time. Earlier, I said I was torn between recommending this movie as “so bad it’s good,” or just plain bad, and after reminiscing on the 87 minutes I’ll never get back, I would simply have to say that “The Unnamable” is straight-up bad. There is not one saving grace and while the creature special effects are actually pretty decent, director Jean-Paul Ouellette should have taken inspiration straight out of “Jaws” and shown less of the monster instead of more, relegating it to the shadows where its features would be less distinguishable, thereby, creating more tension and atmosphere. At least I have part 2 to look forward to!!!
Now available on a Special Edition Blu-ray
