At an Antarctica research site, the discovery of an alien craft leads to a confrontation between graduate student Kate Lloyd and scientist Dr. Sander Halvorson.
Regardless of past gripes, I have enjoyed my fair share of remakes. Zach Snyder’s “Dawn of the Dead” is a prime example of a re-imagining done right. It explored more of the source material and enhanced the thrills through the use of contemporary effects and editing. Yes, an original work of art is great but there can be more to learn from the past under a modernist scope. I wish I could say the same for Matthijs van Heijningen’s dull prequel to the 1982 John Carpenter masterpiece, “The Thing.” In the original, Carpenter filmed on a combination of LA sets dropped to frigid temperatures and on location in Alaska and British Columbia. Carpenter’s budget was pretty large for the time and he lacked the technology for the overused CGI of today. This 2011 iteration had twice the budget and the British Columbia landscape up its sleeve yet there’s rarely any intrigue or a memorable moment. Although the film opens with the original’s droning guitar riff, composed by the maestro Ennio Morricone, it’s never heard again throughout the running time.
In a seemingly never-ending series of bad decisions, at least the casting was inspired. The always reliable Mary Elizabeth Winstead plays Kate Lloyd, a gifted paleontologist introduced unsubtly listening to the ’80s hit song, “Who can it be Now?”. Ulrich Thomsen plays Dr. Halvorson, who more than swiftly recruits Kate for a top-secret discovery in Antarctica. It’s such a movie moment where the protagonist is asked to join a mission with very little details and must decide on the spot. On the rather unremarkable helicopter ride, we are introduced to Carter (Joel Edgerton). He provides some exposition on the hardships of living in a barren tundra and the incoming blizzard that’s bound to come their way. After some forgettable dialogue, the helicopter drops them at the source of a mysterious signal revealing a massive UFO. Near the saucer is a mysterious organism persevered in the ice. Dr. Halvorson orders Kate to remove a sample which is obviously a huge mistake.
I love the original so I am a bit biased but filling the screenplay with night scenes doesn’t equate a scarier setting. With scenes cloaked in darkness, it just feels like the director was trying to hide the hollow script and sub-par CGI. One scene features genuinely creepy effects during an autopsy that’s much akin to the original but it’s just a reminder of the lack of talent this time around. If only the filmmakers could’ve approached the story with a grounded touch. Carpenter’s version had such a stifling, slow-burning narrative that its desperation remains unmatched. The excruciating moments, like everyone’s blood being tested by a singeing piece of copper wire, are duplicated albeit quite poorly. In a lazy homage, Kate makes everyone open their mouths quickly to make the alien reveal itself.
There’s far too much focus on spectacle instead of more fleshed-out characters and a lack of history about the lone Arctic outpost. I could barely remember anyone’s name with the lack of development and rushed screenplay. Carpenter knew how to slowly unfold the story, even the malamutes are more memorable than these humans. I love that most of the cast is Norwegian but that’s about as dimensional as they get. Mary Elizabeth Winstead certainly gives off Sigourney Weaver-esque vibes in this and the far superior “10 Cloverfield Lane.” Still, I think it’s problematic that the only female-led reboots, ie. “Ocean’s 8” or “Ghostbusters,” are based on pre-existing male franchises. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great choice to cast a woman as the action lead but at the end of the day, I’d say write an original horror or action franchise starring a woman, or women, that’s much more progressive and original.
Now available on Blu-ray from Mill Creek Entertainment
