When a brilliant but trigger-happy detective is outsmarted by a serial killer, he pays a high price for his momentary lapse in judgment. Robbed of both his fiancée and his job, he soon spirals out of control and goes back to what he knows best: fighting. Unbeknownst to him, a serendipitous reunion with an old rival may be the key to unlocking the truth about his fiancée’s disappearance — and to apprehending the killer.
“Invincible Dragon” might be the worst martial arts film I’ve seen this year. Action star Jin Zhang is Kowloon, an undercover cop with a mystical past and a dragon tattoo. His namesake is based on Kowloon a notorious separate city that was spawned during the British colonial rule of Hong Kong that ended in 1997.
Detective Kowloon is introduced sitting in a cartoonish oversized pot waiting to be boiled alive by an obese crime boss. The big boss pulls open Kowloon’s shirt to reveal a massively intricate tattoo to which the boss reveals his own Pokémon-inspired ink. This was genuinely funny but then Kowloon narrates a childhood flashback of him meeting a nine-headed dragon in the ocean. The dragon in the flashback is so poorly animated that I immediately burst out laughing at the design and attempt for melodrama. After the goons turn up the heat in the kitchen, the detective who happens to be clad in way too much eyeliner kicks everyone’s butt before becoming a boiled egg.
I think Kowloon should’ve adopted the moniker, “The Invincible Drag Queen,” seriously, his insane hairdo and heavy makeup were giving me RuPaul vibes. One day, the detective is approached by the local police who need his help stopping a murder in the chic casino island of Macau. The story and editing are so off the wall that I struggled to keep up with the events. Detective Kowloon is like a rain man savant that can see the world differently than others. He enlists the help of his old MMA buddy Alexander (Anderson Silva) who resembles a dark-skinned Shrek with the cadence of Mike Tyson. Seriously, this pair is so oddly mismatched I was further baffled.
I think I need a night to recover from the assault of images, insanely bad musical choices, and the most over-the-top action maybe ever displayed onscreen. For example, when Kowloon and a female assassin duel on a moving train, the music is some off-key, perfunctory Opera, and wouldn’t you know it, the train, just like the screenplay, goes off the tracks. While the CGI-heavy train tumbles over and over, the two continue to fight, and once again I was laughing so hard at the ridiculous spectacle. The only exciting scene involves the life-sized replica of Paris that was built in Tianducheng over a decade ago. It’s so funny and surreal to see the Eiffel Tower and roundabouts that appear almost 3-D printed. I believe the city finally saw an uptick in tourism after years of being labeled a ghost town. That being said, I strongly recommend watching this disaster so that you can witness an awful film and approach.
Available on Blu-ray™, DVD & Digital October 6th
