“Arctic Dogs” follows the hilarious misadventures of Swifty the Arctic Fox (Jeremy Renner), who stumbles upon a dark scheme by the villainous Otto Von Walrus (John Cleese) to melt the Arctic. To stop this sinister plot, Swifty enlists the help of his ragtag group of friends: PB (Alec Baldwin), a neurotic polar bear; Lemmy (James Franco), a scatterbrained albatross; Jade Fox (Heidi Klum), a brainy engineer; Leopold (Omar Sy) and Bertha (Klum), two conspiracy theorist otters; and Magda (Anjelica Huston), his grouchy boss.
“Arctic Dogs” has a couple of things working for it – some big names in the cast and the voices don’t make you want to pull your hair out. Otherwise, the animated movie is just background noise with a long boring plot. How the movie felt so long when it was only an hour and a half is beyond me, but I swear, it never ended. The plot is simple enough, though; it’s an underdog who wants to move to the top of the pack and ends up with some snafus along the way.
Swifty (Jeremy Renner) weighs eighteen pounds and wants to become the next primary mail runner for his town. The problem is, he’s two pounds shy of the weight limit, and he’s a fox, not a dog, both of which are big no-nos. As it happens, a villain willingly steps in, ready to carry off the top dogs, making room for Swifty to take the lead after a few years stuck in the mailroom. With the big dogs gone, he had plenty of time acting macho for his would-be girlfriend, Jade (Heidi Klum). At least she holds out until he gets his head on straight as he is forced to learn a few lessons along the way to becoming the top dog.
Despite his small stature, the little arctic fox thinks quite a bit of himself and has no problem bolstering his ego much to the chagrin of his other animal friends. I have to say, I already find movies based on personified animals beyond obnoxious, then make the animals annoying, and you lose me, just like this movie. Who wants to sit there and watch a no-talent fox act like a moron for an hour and a half? No thanks.
The tiny evil puffins serve as minions to the nefarious walrus serving as the bad guy, and they are the only semi-funny part of the movie. What few other laughs appear would only make a two-year-old laugh, and only if he was paying attention, which I doubt will happen. The plot focuses too much on adult concepts like a Russian boss lady and the mailroom to entice children to sit still while mommy sneaks in a nap and some dishes. You don’t need me to tell you the ending, it’s a cartoon made for little kids to feel good and believe they can come out on top.
I would only recommend “Arctic Dogs” to children obsessed with canines, foxes, or the Arctic. Otherwise, the plot falls short of entertaining, and you can’t make it more just by adding in some big names like Anjelica Huston, John Cleese, or Alec Baldwin. The writers, Bob Barlen and Cal Brunker, along with a few others in their team, haven’t put out a hit kids movie yet, and this one won’t turn them into rising stars. Definitely rent this one before buying or wait for it to show up on streaming media before plunging into your wallet and paying for this blasé cartoon.
Now available on Digital and on Blu-ray™ Combo Pack (plus DVD and Digital), DVD, and On-Demand Feb. 4th
