“PARVULOS”
Three young brothers living in a cabin in the middle of the woods hide a dark, disturbing secret in their basement.
Director Isaac Ezban’s “Parvulos” is a post-apocalyptic/zombie movie of sorts. The story focuses on three brothers as they attempt to survive. The two older brothers are keeping a secret in the basement. It’s not hard to figure out what that secret is, and thankfully, the movie doesn’t take too long to reveal it. The photography is highly stylized, featuring a desaturated color palate that helps to set the tone. I didn’t find the performances too convincing in this film, and the sudden addition of characters throughout the movie was frustrating. It’s like they were just added to extend the running time. There are some gnarly kills in this movie. Honestly, one of them is probably among the best I’ve seen in a while. That’s not really enough to get me to recommend this film, though. It wasn’t very interesting; I struggled to get through it.
“Parvulos” recently had its Texas Premiere on September 22nd at Fantastic Fest 2024
“TERRIFIER 3”
Art the Clown is set to unleash chaos on the unsuspecting residents of Miles County as they peacefully drift off to sleep on Christmas Eve.
You should know precisely what you are getting from a “Terrifier” flick by this point. If you haven’t heard the title before, you might want to research it before viewing it. While it’s not as extreme as its predecessor (that bedroom scene in “Terrifier 2” is one of the most horrific sequences I’ve ever seen), this sequel still has its share of over-the-top violence. Blood, guts, severed body parts — there are pieces of people all over the place by the end of this movie.
Looking over my ratings for past “Terrifier” films, I think they’ve improved as they’ve gone along. “Terrifier 3” attempts to add some mythology to the storyline. I probably should have rewatched the first two in preparation for this because I honestly don’t remember much about the mechanics of Art the Clown (David Howard Thornton). Throughout the movie, I wondered if this made sense based on what came before.
Lauren LaVera returns as Sienna Shaw, battling Art as he parades around town dressed as Santa Claus. The effects are spectacular, and the kills are outrageous. You probably won’t want to eat while watching this movie. While the second film was overly long, this one felt like it was missing scenes and sequences. There’s lots of off-screen action. I guess director Damien Leone was trying to keep this one from getting unwieldy. Overall, I thought the pacing was good. Leone strikes a good balance between the establishing moments and the visceral moments. Fans of the series should enjoy themselves watching this entry.
“Terrifier 3” recently had its World Premiere on September 19th at Fantastic Fest 2024
“SPERMAGEDDON”
There are two narrative threads: one is an emerging love story between two awkward teens, Jens and Lisa, who are having sex for the first time, and the other is the eventful quest of Simon the Semen and his friends to reach the golden goal, the Egg.
“Spermageddon” is one of the more off-the-wall features screened at the festival. There are two intertwined stories featured in this animated ‘musical’ comedy. One focuses on the budding romance between two awkward teens, Jens (Christian Mikkelsen) and Lisa (Nasrin Khusrawi), on a weekend getaway with their friends. The other focuses on the sperm in Jens’ testicles. Obviously, this is not a kid-friendly movie…
There’s some clever wordplay in the dialogue. Among the names of the sperm are Simen, Cumilla, and Jizzmo. Their banter is also full of double entendres. To top everything off, these sperm sing. While the film is marketed as a musical, it only has three songs, so I’d classify it as a comedy with some music rather than a straight-up musical. The animation is on the cheaper side but works for the movie. It’s not a bad movie, but it didn’t win me over. This was another one that ultimately felt pretty bland.
“Spermageddon” recently had its North American Premiere on September 21st at Fantastic Fest 2024
Secret Screening #4 — “BETTER MAN”
An original musical from the director of The Greatest Showman, Michael Gracey.
The announcement of tonight’s secret screening was a bit of a letdown. Hearing that we were about to see a biopic of Robbie Williams, I was confused. I’ve never heard of Robbie Williams.
“Better Man” is your typical musician biopic turned musical, using the artists’ music to help tell the story. This movie has an exception: Robbie Williams and director Michael Gracey have decided to use a CGI ape instead of an actor for Robbie’s role. It’s intriguing but ultimately nothing more than a gimmick that attempts to draw the viewer in.
Robbie’s is the same old story — he finds success and falls into drugs and alcohol. He’s a pretty unlikable character, and the movie comes across as self-indulgent. I did not care what happened to Robbie (or any of the other characters in the film).
The musical numbers have some energy, but every time the movie transitions to exposition, things stop dead in their tracks. Altogether, this is a stagnant one-note film. It starts off promising before dissolving into a painful viewing experience. This one is overly long and doesn’t have much to say.