Film Festival Reviews

2019 Tribeca Film Festival Review: “For They Know Not What They Do”


 

When the Supreme Court legalized marriage equality, the backlash by the religious right was swift, severe, and successful. Karslake’s documentary looks at four faith-based families with LGBTQ children caught in the crosshairs of sexuality, identity, and scripture.

This documentary follows 4 families who struggle to accept their gay and transgender child while remaining true to their Christian faith.

When the Bible teaches that homosexuality is not only wrong but unforgivable in the eyes of God, many parents with children who come out as gay or transgender become conflicted with their beliefs and their lives become a challenge learning to love their child unconditionally. This film does a great job of presenting the Christian faith and explaining how powerfully rooted it is for many people. Religion for these families is more than studying the Bible and attending church, it is dedicating your life to God, who will lead you to eternal life in heaven. However, there are many rules and if you deviate from them, you will not enter the gates of heaven and will burn in hell for eternity.

In the Christian faith, homosexuality is considered a choice. It is an activity or lifestyle that one decides to partake in and can quit at any time. Some Christian parents use strong measures to what they believe will “cure” their child of homosexual tendencies such as sending them to conversion camps where the goal is to strip you from temptation and put you back on the religious path. Another one mentioned in the film is an act of taking away any publications, movies, or items that even mention or suggest homosexual relationships. While the parents deal with their own issues of shame, frustration, and conflict, their children silently suffer, resorting to as much as drug addiction, self-harm and some even attempted suicide.

The four young adults in this film come from different backgrounds but all share similar stories of recognizing that they are different, whether it be an attraction to the same sex or not feeling connected to the sex they were assigned at birth. Because of these feelings go against their religious rules, they hide who they are in hopes that it will all go away.

  • Ryan Robertson, the son of Evangelical Christians, dives deep into depression as his parents have difficulty coping with his homosexuality. As an active participant in church, he himself feels misunderstood not understanding how he can feel this way knowing it is against everything he was raised to believe. After trying conversion methods he veers off the deep end, leaves home and resorts to using drugs to numb the agony he feels inside. Sadly for Ryan, years of heavy drugs and a final overdose leads to his passing. From that point forward, his parents learn to be more open and less fearful of what they think homosexuality is.
  • Sarah McBride came out to her parents as transgender and it was particularly difficult as Christians because she already had an older brother that came out as gay. Not knowing what transgender meant, her parents didn’t know how to accept their son now becoming a woman. Sarah felt severe depression and doubt that she would ever meet anyone that would accept her for who she was. It was not easy but she finally came out publicly in college while serving as student body president and surprisingly gained a lot of support. She later went on to become the very first transgender intern in the white house fighting to change laws like the Bathroom Bill which those are allowed to ask anyone for ID before entering a public bathroom. Because so many transgenders are murdered in hate crimes, the fight is a hard long one but many people are now supporting more than ever.
  • Victor Baez Febo hid his homosexuality from his parents knowing their Catholic religious beliefs were very strong. He moved back to Puerto Rico to live with his grandmother where he thought he could live his lifestyle and no one would find out. He was outed by a neighbor who caught him fighting with a current boyfriend. When his grandmother was contacted by the neighbor she changed the locks on the door and told him never to return! After his parents were called, he returned back home and facing his parents was a nightmare. After the shame, guilt, and depression, he eventually moved out into his own apartment. A house warming party he had with tons of his friends at his home, turned into an outing at a gay bar called Pulse. That night was horrific, as hateful individuals entered the club and opened fire on everyone, Victor hid in a closet surviving his friends and many others who were killed that night. A member of a church actually congratulated the shooters in getting rid of all of the so-called “sinners.”
  • Elliot Porcher was what people would call a Tom Boy growing up. She played with bugs, wore baggy clothes but deep inside she felt like a real boy. Trying to constantly express herself with clothing and outside activities, she gave up and starting dressing more feminine. Depression set in and the darker and more withdrawn she became, she couldn’t take it anymore. When she came out to her parents, they didn’t understand what it meant to feel like a boy in a girl’s body. Like most parents, they thought it was just a phase and she would eventually grow out of it. They suffered trying to come to terms with the fact that their lives would change now that their little girl would change identities completely. They chose to find a way to still have their faith and support their daughter instead of losing her to drugs or even suicide.

This documentary was very strong and we can all learn from it, whether you are religious or just fearful of homosexuality because of your upbringing. There is so much to learn from each other like learning to accept our differences instead of hate or kill over them. It is also important that we love our families no matter what their sexuality is. I think everyone should see this film!

 

“For They Know Not What They Do” recently had its World Premiere at the 2019 Tribeca Film Festival

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Malika Harris

Malika is a Writer from NYC who loves movies and talking about them.