A chaotic battle ensues between Jerry Mouse, who has taken refuge in the Royal Gate Hotel, and Tom Cat, who is hired to drive him away before the day of a big wedding arrives.
Tim Story’s “Tom & Jerry” is an abomination, a middle finger to the craft of filmmaking, and particularly audiences’ intelligence. As blatant a cash-grab as anything released in recent memory, the film — if you can even call this collection of half-baked, bottom-of-the-barrel “sketches” a film — takes everything we loved about the “Tom & Jerry” cartoons and desecrates it. Those with fond memories of William Hanna and Joseph Barbera’s spirited slapstick, as well as folks planning to introduce the duo to a new generation of young thrill-seekers, should stay clear.
Take Jerry. In the cartoons, the adorable little mouse was endearing, never truly intending harm — he just wanted peace and quiet. Here, he is borderline Machiavellian in his strategic torturing of Tom. I found myself almost rooting for the poor feline, who’s perpetually slapped, dismembered, flattened, and sliced into tiny chunks, while the little rodent grins triumphantly. The key word here is “almost”: I was ultimately unable to develop any semblance of empathy for the film’s animated protagonists, much less its human characters, who are even more two-dimensional.
Chloë Grace Moretz plays Kayla, who gets hired at the fancy Royal Gate Hotel, run by the “I have a stick wedged deep in my butt for no reason whatsoever” Terence (Michael Peña). Preparations for the “biggest wedding of the century” are on the way. When they discover the piece-of-shit rascal Jerry living it up in the hotel, Kayla is saddled with the task of hunting him down before the big day. So, of course, she gets Tom to do it for her. Shenanigans ensue. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the plot.
The special effects are hit and miss, the animation never quite gelling with the real world. There’s no discernible reason for why some animals are animated in this film’s universe, while others aren’t. Don’t question logic in a film that resembles one gargantuan, vacuous plot hole. The worst part about this screechy, nonsensical mess may be the fact that Tom and Jerry have to WORK TOGETHER to save the day. The whole point of this relationship is the central duo’s perpetual rivalry. Let’s have Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd go on a date — there’s too much toxic masculinity there, and Bugs is surely gay. Perhaps Tweety and Sylvester can join them, along with Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner.
Moretz does what she can with her character, but that’s like saying she does what she can with a broken crayon and a piece of cardboard. The actress falls and chases and screams and hollers, trying to maintain her dignity. The struggle is real. I used to love Michael Peña. His comedic timing, as evidenced by films like “Observe and Report” and “Ant-Man,” is impeccable. He also proved he’s got some dramatic chops in the likes of “End of Watch” or “Fury.” Peña’s recent strings of misfires — “Extinction,” “Jexi,” “Fantasy Island” — makes me steadily lose faith in the talented performer. “Tom & Jerry” is the icing on that proverbial rotten cake. As for the rest of the cast, I don’t remember it. I think Colin Jost was in there somewhere, cashing the easiest paycheck of his career.
Robert Zemeckis pulled off the feat of combining animation and live-action all the way back in 1988 with his masterpiece “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” Not only did it seamlessly integrate cartoon characters into a real world, but it also functioned splendidly as an ode to / sendup of film noir staples, featured unforgettable characters, and never talked down to its target audience. Tim Story, known for “classics” like “Fantastic Four” and “Ride Along,” is no Zemeckis. His “Tom & Jerry” underestimates children’s intelligence by disregarding things like a coherent plot that may resonate or maybe even teach a thing or two. It dumbs things down to bare essentials, confident that enough special effects and noise will compensate for the lack of actual, you know, creativity. Thing is, kids are savvy. My daughter, after 10 minutes of this nonsense, turned to me and said, “Can we please watch Moana?”
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