In this unflinchingly honest memoir, a man born into privilege but starved of emotional connection takes readers on a California journey through ambition, excess, and the painful search for self-worth.
Aside from the unfortunate title that doesn’t seem to be suitably or aptly descriptive, “Asshole” chronicles the life to date of Rob Tonkin, a successful music industry promoter based primarily in California. Each brief chapter is headlined by a song title that Tonkin uses to highlight the theme of the vignettes – largely to good effect.
Books about the entertainment business can transport readers behind-the-scenes of celebrity life, often by providing a fascinating glimpse into the rarefied air. The genre works best when the writer takes an informal approach to their prose. In this instance, “Tonkin” sets just the right tone to create a highly-engaging narrative spanning the author’s childhood, professional life, and eventually his retreat away from the spotlight, embracing solace.
Tonkin’s early life consisted of many of the garden-variety dysfunctions that fellow baby-boomers suffered growing up – in particular, detached and career-driven parents. However, later in adolescence, things get worse. Finding his way into the ranks of the radio world, he encounters sexually predatory disc jockeys, ostensibly serving as mentors, leaving him permanently scarred.
As has been learned in recent years, power players in the entertainment industry have been allowed to take liberties that should never have been sanctioned and only periodically get called to task, even now. Tonkin’s travails are detailed at some length to establish many of the drivers and motivations that propelled him forward later in life and fueled his achievements.
As a disc jockey in high school, Tonkin parlayed his experience into a labor of love, leading to more commercial ventures that included the Westwood One radio network. His career highlight consisted of the Honda Civic Tour starting at the turn of the century and running for a very lucrative decade. The story feels like a whirlwind tour of popular music in the ‘80s, ‘90s, and early 2000s, replete with first-hand accounts of rubbing elbows with Don Henley of Eagles’ fame, Jennifer Anniston before she got famous, famed record producer Irving Azoff, and many other members of the glitterati, to name but a few.
His ambition and hard work eventually landed him in the upper echelons of radio networks and tour promotion circles. The latter chapters are especially compelling as he describes his many interactions with A-list musicians and actors – sometimes contentious, but almost always fruitful in terms of making the show go on.
“Asshole” the memoir finds itself in the same fine company as other exposés such as “Powerhouse: The Untold Story of Hollywood’s Creative Artists Agency,” by James Andrew Miller, “Adventures in the Screen Trade,” by William Goldman, “Easy Riders, Raging Bulls: How the Sex, Drugs and Rock-‘n-Roll Generation Saved Hollywood,” by Peter Biskind, and “The Operator: David Geffen Builds, Buys, and Sells the New Hollywood,” by Tom King. With such good content, a captivating tale should be a given, though sometimes turgid works such as “The Agency: William Morris and the Hidden History of Show Business” by Frank Rose manage to sneak their way into print and put readers to sleep.
Some quibbles, such as the Chapter Title Song Inspirations, where Tonkin assigns credit for the songs to the performing group instead of the writer, are disappointing. For example, attribution of the Fleetwood Mac song “Dreams” to the group instead of singer-songwriter Stevie Nicks just feels like all kinds of wrong. Perhaps the editors at Munn Avenue Press opted to lean toward the more familiar band-name hooks for readers.
As of spring 2025, Tonkin resides in a rural area of Los Angeles, where he uses the time to take stock of his life and come to terms with the traumas inflicted upon him in his childhood. The narrative is ultimately a journey of redemption that culminates in a search for peace and personal insight, with perhaps another twist or two lurking around another corner as Tonkin contemplates the next stage of his evolution.
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