With her life crashing down around her, Linda attempts to navigate her child’s mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist.
I must begin by saying I have never had this much of a disagreement with other critics regarding a film, even one I didn’t particularly care for or appreciate. “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” will premiere with film festival accolades and high scores on MetaCritic and Rotten Tomatoes, to name two film critic tabulators. I had to think about this for a long time, mulling over why I found myself at such a distance from the multitude. The following is my take on a chaotic, frightening, complicated film that, as the title says, has no legs.
For a story to matter to an audience, it must have legs! Art of all dimensions, fine, graphic, music, literature, theatre, and film must matter to its audience. An enduring painting or symphony endures because experiencing it has a lasting impact on the audience. It doesn’t have to be a positive impact, but a listener, observer, or anyone emotionally involved should reflect on their experience and share it with others. It should remain on their minds and be brought up from time to time. A story, for example, with good legs may be remembered and thought about for years after the initial experience. In the case of a film, book, or any other art piece, an audience member may want to revisit and re-experience it. Over and over, even for some.
I’m not naive enough to believe this was the film’s intention about legs. It was, however, the first thing that came to my mind. Will this film be talked about the next day? Next week? Next year? Will an audience member desire to see it again? No apology: maybe, but I doubt it. Think back to “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” Years ago! A complicated, difficult-to-follow film with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. All this time later, I can still recall and describe the substance and emotion those two spilled out into an audience. That was a sad, frenetic, chaotic, and sometimes disgusting experience I witnessed in the lives of two very broken people clinging to each other as if for life. That film, considering writing, directing, and acting, had legs.
This new psychology/comedy (comedy, really?) is veritably a solo vehicle for a very talented and experienced actress to flex her chops. That she does and very successfully. Rose Byrne is the essence of madness, struggle, sadness, boredom, well, you name it. What makes the film so good for her is what makes that pitiful story lack substance. At the end??? If a friend asks me this week if I’ve seen the film with the unusual title and I say yes, and then the friend asks me, as friends do, “So what is it about?” Hmm. That’s kind of difficult. Well, I can describe the film somewhat, but not really relate the story in a way my friend would be enticed to see it.
If I’m way off, then so be it. I must admit that, with my idea of a story having legs, it doesn’t explain who would possibly be the recipient of the threatened kick. The audience, maybe. Both my friend and I, who attended with me, grumbled on the way home about the 114 minutes we’d never get back. Probably because we’re in our 80s? Yeah, that’s probably it.
In Theaters Nationwide Friday, October 24th
11k
19.8k
1.5k
1.8k