Movie Reviews

Movie Review: “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” Is A Bizarre Affair That Goes Nowhere

With her life crashing down around her, Linda attempts to navigate her child’s mysterious illness, her absent husband, a missing person, and an increasingly hostile relationship with her therapist.

The new psychological comedy-drama from Mary Bronstein is as challenging to describe as it is to sit through. Most readily, this is a story about Linda (Rose Byrne), a psychiatrist barely clinging to sanity, caring for her gravely ill daughter (Delaney Quinn) while the decline of her career collides with her failing marriage.

It takes some odd storytelling choices, namely, Linda’s daughter, whose mysterious illness drives the plot of the movie, is never shown. We only ever hear her daughter, even when she’s barely out of frame. We can assume this was deliberate to portray her sick daughter solely as an endless source of needs, whining, and dependence. It’s one of many risky choices that are understandable from a storytelling perspective, but ultimately make the film harder to watch. Throw that in with some truly grotesque imagery, unlikable characters with questionable motives, and an ending that lacks real emotional payoff, and what we’re left with is a bizarre affair of no substance.

This film might have more bite than “Nightbitch,” and despite a committed and admirable performance from Rose Byrne, it’s so unpleasant and the payoff so weak that I can’t recommend this one.

In Theaters Friday, October 24th

 

 

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